The Friends of Alan Loyalty Quiz


I've had a wonderful life filled with joy and laughter but as I reflect on the minor ruins of my life thus far, I am forced to blame everyone I've ever known.  Recently, in a beer fueled moment of self doubt and panic, it dawned on me that my closest friends and family may be conspiring against me!  Corona #4 convinced me that I need to determine once and for all who's on my side.  It was from this confused and paranoid madness that The Friends of Alan Loyalty Quiz was born.

The quiz is simple and direct.  Answer the 10 "for me or against me" questions below and determine your score.  After you are returned to this page Click Here to see what you're score means!


Question #1

You hear shouting coming from the end of the dock.  You run out and see me thrashing around in the water, screaming like a little girl.  Floating next to me is a big giant basket of rapidly sinking baby puppies.  

Who do you save?

   Me

   The Puppies


Question #2

A cacophony of sirens and helicopters seem to be surrounding your house which was just riddled with bullets.  You hear me outside the door pounding and screaming like a little girl for you to come hide me.

What do you do?

   Hide me

   Pretend you didn't hear me and try to save yourself


Question #3

Do you know who Ned Flanders is?

   Yes

   No


Question #4

Your house is burning down.  You can save one thing.

Make your choice.

   Your favorite photo of me

   Something else


Question #5

Have you ever poisoned or considered poisoning me?

  No

   Yes


Question #6

How long of a prison sentence would you serve rather than tell the police that I did it.

   More than 10 years

  Less than 10 years


Question #7

You've just won two tickets for the Monster Truck Show on your local "wacky" morning radio station.  The winner and their guest also get to drive one of the trucks for a lap around the arena and crush one car. 

Do you...

  Immediately call me and tell me I have plans for Friday night

   Take someone else and lie to me about what you were doing Friday night


Question #8

Can I have your organs for transplant when mine fail?

   Yes

   No


Question #9

It's finally time for the dream vacation you've been planning and saving for your whole life.  Just as you're walking out the door I call you and ask you to feed my cat while I'm out of town to see the Annual "Hooters" Volleyball Championships.

Do you...

   Feed my cat

   Tell me you can't feed my cat because you would rather go on vacation


Question #10

Are you taller than me?

   No

   Yes