The Projectalan Action News Post-Intelligencer
February 2004

The Passion of the Christ Not Nominated for Best Picture; Academy Voters Consider Story "Not Believable"

Concerned Parent Loses Interest Half Way Through Attention Deficit Disorder Pamphlet

Iraq Votes.  New M&M Color Will Be Purple.

Paul McCartney's Half Time Show Expected to be Free of Wardrobe Malfunctions --
Unless Adult Diaper Leaks 

Still Distraught Over Election, Crazed Senator John Kerry Grabs Child During Speech and Demands to be Sworn in as 44th President

SpongeBob Squarepants Assaults Woman at Parade to "Prove That He is Not Homosexual"